I dreamed of this "better day" on which my music may finally be heard after everything came to a sudden halt so many years ago after Multiple Sclerosis took not only my vision for so many months but also my career as a neuro-psychologist, and brought a complete halt to a music career on the cusp of taking off. Yet, I'm grateful that in the end, I have relapsing-remitting MS and struggle primarily with the longterm damage aquired during the initial exacebation.
But I do struggle and everything is unpredictable. I have recurrence (or flare-ups) which bring anything from physical mobility issues to complete numbness in large parts of my body (what we called "dead leg" was a fun 6 months of learning to navigate on what felt like navigating around on a new prosthetic leg). Or it can be more sneaky, slowing building until I feel such fatigue that walking to the kitchen feels overwhelming. With this type also comes the cognitive fuzz and sensitivity to any significant stimulus happening around me (noises, talking, light.. ya never know).
Fortunately it's not that often these things happen to the extreme. But there's always a low level hum of issues just under the surface that I've simply learned to live with and ignore the best I can! Unfortunately I have a tendency to ignore warning signs that I need to slow down and take a break.... Until I'm forced to. One dayn I'm sure I'll learn. As far as symptoms of MS go, I personally believe financial ruin should probably be made another "symptom" of the diagnosis. But that's probably just me. Ironically, had I not done what I was doing for living, the truly debiliitating symptoms of my specific type of MS would not have been quite so impactful. However, it targeted precisely what I actually specialized in helping others to identify and treat.
I worked primarily with children and adolescence with conditions ranging from ADHD to Dyslexia to Autism. My practice, X-Minds, was a little different because I was a little different. I saw how nearly 100% of the time I'd read reports intended to help parents understand what was causing the learning struggle be so full of statistical details it was hard for me to even understand the point. Addionally, there was rarely any mention of strengths within the summaries, only focusing on the child's struggles. So, having grown up with ADHD myself, I knew first-hand how frustrating it could feel to be misunderstood and constantly in trouble for something you couldn't help. And I knew how hard it could be to see beyond the frustration to underlying gifts. So, thus came X-Minds and I love every moment in my big kid Superhero playground helping kids, adolescents and many adults.
But I also was fortunate to have a love of music and the flexibility to also devote time to touring and performing around the country as part of Manifest Frequency. MFQ began with only myself and my best friend, who played drums.
https://www.facebook.com/gara.coffey
Sometimes it was just me using my loop pedals and bringing way too many instruments to setup at shows. Lets just say I had a few frustrated organizers in the beginning waiting impatiently for me to hook up multiple inputs from 2 guitars, a bass and a keyboard. Eventually, MFQ became more of a "collective" of a few of my friends who ocassionally played shows with me and ultimately were the ones who helped me record the album, The Deconstruction of Dr Dawn. You should know, the original title was going to be Deconstructing Frequency. But with the sequence of events and traumas following recording, The Deconstruction of Dr Dawn was more accurate. As far as my friends in Atlanta who were responsible for helping me fully actualize the vision for the album, I asked the person who first introduced me to the love of loop pedals to help me produce it.
https://www.facebook.com/miclevine
https://www.thelearninggroove.com
https://www.michaellevine.net
I really didn't understand how talented Michael Levine was not only as a producer, but also as a sound engineer. Of course, he was also an extremely advanced guitarist and bassist, plus could play some drums if needed. During the process he introduced me to his good friend and incredibly gifted guitarist, Matthew Smith
https://www.facebook.com/matthewsmith99
https://www.facebook.com/TheNewVintageMusic
For Matt and me, it was "understanding" at first sight with where the sound should go with his lead guitar and assorted sound layering with his magical pedals. As also a huge fan of Portishead and Massive Attack, he understood the Trip Hop vibes I wanted to bring to the music so the process was simply intuitive and magical with the interplay of instrument. I thought it couldn't get any better until a literal angel appeared as a new friend on social media who heard I was looking for a drummer who'd bring the right energy and rhythm to this project of love. This wonderful person, who just happened to be one of the best drummers I've ever heard was Sheryl Harper. She's probably got more movie credits now than I can remember but a favorite is A Joyful Noise with Dolly Parton. She's currently the drummer for Klymaxx, was featured on the Fighting Temptations soundtrack, and formerly toured the world with the incomparable Kurt Carr, Minister and multi award winning Urban Gospel Songwriter and producer. She's busy and always in demand these days
https://www.facebook.com/sherylharper
www.instagram.com/klymaxxfm
Anyway, this love fest could continue but I haven't even gotten to the next part of the journey of irony that seemed to follow me. Fast forward one year to the day I was diagnosed, and I was attacked by a dog. I had moved back to NC to regroup and recover, while also being there for my elderly mom to help as my dad was declining significantly in health. Literally 3 days after arriving, as I was unpacking a few things from the car, a large dog who'd broken his leash came lunging at me.
Fortunately he didnt see my bully and chow laying in the car seats. They responded preventing a bite, but in the process their leashes tangled around my fingers spiral breaking nearly all the fingers on my guitar hand. After emergency surgery (and more bankrupting bills), I was told I'd never play again. Fortunately, I don't usually take doctors' final word as gospel. Honestly, it's been a Lifetime movie - my life. Add my father's death, my mom's progressing dementia as I became mom to her -and stress became a norm.
I could go on but I'll certainly give details as I progress. My life went from planned structure to MeSsy. This is my favorite term for MS and The MeSsy Frequency is my real talk about all things complicated, ridiculous, horrible, funny and miraculous. Welcome
