My sis Gara Coffey sent me a few old pics from the early days of Manifest Frequency that brought smiles and good memories I desparately need right now. I'm enduring a situation that is extremely stressful, sad and disappointing to vastly understate it. It is ongoing and I'm so tired, it's physically causing problems. It is not something I can simply walk away from to avoid, nor can I be walked over. But it is so very complicated and not easily fixed. It's amazing how something that is so good with the release of my album, after all these years, had to be completely minimized by such awful personal conflict I did not seek nor initiate. I am forced to make a choice between the 2 things - focusing on this opportunity or ... I don't believe in forced choices. I've had too little sleep for days because crying keeps me from breathing well. I'm struggling to maintain a sense of optimism and belief in everything working out - with this situation or my music. I know the market is SATURATED with musicians, and I've been so long missing in action. Despite my songs being in the top 10 globally on the site I promote on the most, the music can also be streamed to the 44, 137 people who've listened to the songs and to my 7,529 Followers anytime without paying for a subscription that'd at least pay some pennies. It's been 2 months since the album was released and right now the returns show I've made $.05 for 126 streams. Yes, that's 5 cents. Granted, returns only start showing up around 2 or sometimes 3 months after a release. Streaming doesn't do much toward making a musician money. I know that. I've been saying just because I'm getting a lot of positive reactions doesn't mean anyone is buying. But I don't think I'd be bothered if it were not for the current situation here. I think my natural hopeful and optimistic tendencies would have no problem manifesting things into the reality. I can do that for myself but I can't do it for others who are oppositionally pulling strongly and negatively in the other direction. I am unable to do the things I need to do. Imagine trying to be creative while you're heart is actively breaking. It's a bigger mess than I can even convey. But these pictures make me happy and the memories are priceless
