I was thinking wanted to make sure I gave credit to Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler for heir MeSsy podcast where they talk about life with MS and all its curveballs. It's crazy because back in my psychology practice in Atlanta, I was constantly creating "monsters/villians" to represent symptoms of conditions like Dyslexia, ADHD, Autism etc... So, for example, impulsivity was this female character called Pulse. There was "Illiterator" for dyslexia; Zone was for inattention; Quiver represented Anxiety, and so on. I mean, the practice was called X-MINDS after all, so you can see where I was going with all that. So after I was diagnosed with MS, I kept circling a name for the MS monster... I kept thinking MSee, MeSee... but when I saw their podcast name last year, I honestly slapped myself on the forehead because it was so damn obvious but I just couldn't see it clearly. I'm trying to find the comic sketch I had tried to draw of the moster. But... I have a pile of disorganizedly organized papers I have it stacked in ... somewhere. But MeSsy really is a perfect title and adjective and name for what it feels like. For me, the symptoms are not all that obvious most of the time. I mean, I have a great deal of fatigue, am generally in pain of one sort or another all of the time, have muscle spasms, have significant damage to the vision in my left eye from the initial flareup, and have some balance/coordination issue sometimes. But even with that symptom, I was really coordinated to begin with and you probably would never notice. But what my particular type of MS really honed in on was something that would impact me so horribly, yet it stole my career without leaving a trace physically on me. It took my ability to focus, short term memory, organization, staying cool under pressure, quickly pulling information out of memory and communicating it in a easy to understand way, prioritizing, tolerating frustration etc... My executive functioning basically was blown up for a length of time. And that was my exact speciality in helping others learn how to accomodate. Irony, irony, irony. I realized a while back that I was spending too much time telling people some version of , "I promise you I'm not flaky" because of my forgetfulness now or other related things. I can say without a doubt that music helped save my brain. It gave me other neural pathways to start using for memory, focus and organizational tasks... Our brain's neuroplasticity is amazing like that. So, other than the abject poverty that came with the diagnosis, I am truly grateful to have the Relapsing-Remitting type of MS that I do. But it is MeSsy and is often hard. And it often comes with ruining one financially causing ongoing, intense stress and anxieity. Basically, stress is kryptonite for MS. But I'm still thankful that I do have my type of MS. I'm a lucky one. I'm including some pics below of my “monsters” and I also have a video I created years ago for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society called “The True Story of a Fallen Super Hero” . I'll post that video shortly with a glimpse at my former home and practice in Atlanta. While all of this is not necessarily related specifically to the music that might have brought you to the site, it is all related to who I am and the story behind the music. I think you get where I'm heading, right? Cheers!
